THE FOLLOWING POSTS COVER THE 1956-1962 TIME PERIOD WHEN I WAS IN THE GAINFUL EMPLOY OF A.F.STODDARD & CO. LTD., CARPET MANUFACTURERS, GLENPATRICK WORKS, ELDERSLIE, SCOTLAND. PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE DOES NOT EXIST TO ADEQUATELY COVER THE MANY HIGH JINKS OF THE DESIGN STUDIO SLAB BOY'n'GIRLS AND YOUNG DESIGNERS OF THAT ERA. THE FOLLOWING FADED PHOTOS MAY GIVE A MERE HINT THAT IT WAS NOT JUST ALL WORK AND NO PLAY BACK IN THAT LONG AGO YESTERDAY.
THE NAME CARPETBRAGGER, IS OBVIOUSLY A SPIN-OFF FROM THE MORE FAMILIAR AND CONTROVERSIAL NAME, CARPETBAGGER, WITH ALL OF IT'S ATTENDANT NOTORIETY, PARTICULARLY IN THE SOUTHERN STATES OF THE USA. 'THE CARPETBAGGERS' WAS THE NAME OF THE BEST SELLING 1961 HAROLD ROBBINS NOVEL AND 1965 FILM OF THE SAME NAME, STARRING SEXY CARROLL BAKER OF 'BABY DOLL' FAME. CARPET BRAGGERS IS HOW I THINK OF THOSE OF US WHO SERVED A LIFE SENTANCE IN THE CARPET INDUSTRY CREATING MANY BEAUTIFUL DESIGNS AND STYLES FOR RESIDENTIAL AND COMMERCIAL INTERIORS. WE WILL IGNORE FOR NOW, OUR OCCASIONAL LAPSE IN GOOD TASTE, AND THE RESULTANT UGLY PRODUCT THAT MADE IT INTO THE MARKET PLACE, INVARIABLY TO BECOME A BEST SELLER. IT WOULD SEEM THAT AFTER NEARLY FIFTY [50] YEARS IN THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF CARPET STYLE, DESIGN AND PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT, WE ARE SURELY ENTITLED TO JUST A SMALL DEGREE OF RESPECT AND TOLERANCE , AS WE INDULGE IN A LITTLE CARPET BRAGGING.
IT WAS STANDARD INDUSTRY PRACTICE IN THE 1950'S TO HIRE APPRENTICE WORKERS STRAIGHT OUT OF [JUNIOR] HIGH SCHOOL AT AGES AS YOUNG AS 14-15. AND SO IT WAS AT A.F.STODDARD & CO. LTD., A MAJOR U.K. CARPET MANUFACTURER BASED AT GLENPATRICK WORKS IN ELDERSLIE, SCOTLAND. THE DESIGN STUDIO AT AFS HAD MANY TEENAGERS IN THE 15-19 AGE GROUP OUT OF A STUDIO STAFF OF OVER 70. THE NEWEST DESIGN TRAINEES WERE FIRST PUT TO WORK IN THE 'SLAB ROOM' WHERE THE BOYS GROUND POWDER PIGMENT, MIXED WITH WATER AND GUM ARABIC, INTO A FINE SMOOTH PAINT. AT LEAST THAT WAS THE THEORY. IN PRACTICE THE NIT-PICKY DESIGNERS COMPLAINED CONSTANTLY THAT THE PAINT HAD TOO MANY LUMPS, TOO MUCH GUM ARABIC, OR NOT ENOUGH GUM ARABIC. IN TURN, THE SLAB BOYS BITCHED ABOUT HOW F*****G USELESS SOME OF THE DESIGNERS WERE AT MATCHING COLOURS AND THE NEAR INDUSTRIAL QUANTITIES OF PRECIOUS HARD WORKED PAINTS THAT THE INCONSIDERATE BASTARDS WASTED. GRINDING PAINT WAS NO EASY MATTER, WITH CERTAIN COLOUR PIGMENTS REQUIRING A LOT OF HARD WORK ATOP THE SACRED MARBLE GRINDING SLAB. THIS REQUIRED THE USE OF THE LARGE SACRIFICIAL SLAB [PALETTE] KNIFE TO GRIND SMOOTH THE INHERENT GRITTY, GRAINY GRANULES PERMEATING THE PIGMENT. THE RESULTANT STUNNING SATINY SMOOTH PAINT OF PERFECT VISCOSITY THAT MY YOUNG MUSCULAR ARMS CONSISTENTLY PRODUCED WAS MUCH ENVIED BY SLAB BOYS OF LESSER TALENT AND COMMITMENT. IT WOULD BE FALSE MODESTY ON MY PART NOT TO MENTION THE COVETED AND FAMOUS 'GOLDEN SLAB KNIFE AWARD' THAT MY HIGHLY PRIZED PAINTS EARNED ME ON DESERVEDLY WINNING THE TITLE OF 1956 SLAB BOY OF THE YEAR. SLAB GIRLS, APART FROM PLAYING HAVOC WITH RAGING SLAB BOY HORMONES, HAD SUNDRY OFFICIAL TASKS, INCLUDING THE ENDLESS AND THANKLESS JOB OF WASHING THE COUNTLESS PAINT POTS OF THE BEFORE SAID, INCONSIDERATE USELESS BASTARD DESIGNERS. IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT THE QUALITY OF THE DESIGN STAFF IMPROVED DRAMATICALLY AFTER WE ALL GRADUATED FROM THE SLAB ROOM TO THE STUDIO, WHILE SADLY, THE QUALITY OF PAINT AND WORK IN THE SLAB ROOM DECLINED. IN MANY WORK PLACES IT IS OFTEN SAID, 'YOU COULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT THIS PLACE'. AT OUR PLACE SOMEONE DID. OR A PLAY TO BE MORE PRECISE. IT WAS TITLED, 'THE SLAB BOYS', WRITTEN BY JOHN BYRNE, A YOUNG COLLEAGUE OF INCOMPARABLE CREATIVE TALENT. THE FOLLOWING POSTS ARE A WINDOW INTO THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE YOUNG CARPETBRAGGERS.
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IT WAS STANDARD INDUSTRY PRACTICE IN THE 1950'S TO HIRE APPRENTICE WORKERS STRAIGHT OUT OF [JUNIOR] HIGH SCHOOL AT AGES AS YOUNG AS 14-15. AND SO IT WAS AT A.F.STODDARD & CO. LTD., A MAJOR U.K. CARPET MANUFACTURER BASED AT GLENPATRICK WORKS IN ELDERSLIE, SCOTLAND. THE DESIGN STUDIO AT AFS HAD MANY TEENAGERS IN THE 15-19 AGE GROUP OUT OF A STUDIO STAFF OF OVER 70. THE NEWEST DESIGN TRAINEES WERE FIRST PUT TO WORK IN THE 'SLAB ROOM' WHERE THE BOYS GROUND POWDER PIGMENT, MIXED WITH WATER AND GUM ARABIC, INTO A FINE SMOOTH PAINT. AT LEAST THAT WAS THE THEORY. IN PRACTICE THE NIT-PICKY DESIGNERS COMPLAINED CONSTANTLY THAT THE PAINT HAD TOO MANY LUMPS, TOO MUCH GUM ARABIC, OR NOT ENOUGH GUM ARABIC. IN TURN, THE SLAB BOYS BITCHED ABOUT HOW F*****G USELESS SOME OF THE DESIGNERS WERE AT MATCHING COLOURS AND THE NEAR INDUSTRIAL QUANTITIES OF PRECIOUS HARD WORKED PAINTS THAT THE INCONSIDERATE BASTARDS WASTED. GRINDING PAINT WAS NO EASY MATTER, WITH CERTAIN COLOUR PIGMENTS REQUIRING A LOT OF HARD WORK ATOP THE SACRED MARBLE GRINDING SLAB. THIS REQUIRED THE USE OF THE LARGE SACRIFICIAL SLAB [PALETTE] KNIFE TO GRIND SMOOTH THE INHERENT GRITTY, GRAINY GRANULES PERMEATING THE PIGMENT. THE RESULTANT STUNNING SATINY SMOOTH PAINT OF PERFECT VISCOSITY THAT MY YOUNG MUSCULAR ARMS CONSISTENTLY PRODUCED WAS MUCH ENVIED BY SLAB BOYS OF LESSER TALENT AND COMMITMENT. IT WOULD BE FALSE MODESTY ON MY PART NOT TO MENTION THE COVETED AND FAMOUS 'GOLDEN SLAB KNIFE AWARD' THAT MY HIGHLY PRIZED PAINTS EARNED ME ON DESERVEDLY WINNING THE TITLE OF 1956 SLAB BOY OF THE YEAR. SLAB GIRLS, APART FROM PLAYING HAVOC WITH RAGING SLAB BOY HORMONES, HAD SUNDRY OFFICIAL TASKS, INCLUDING THE ENDLESS AND THANKLESS JOB OF WASHING THE COUNTLESS PAINT POTS OF THE BEFORE SAID, INCONSIDERATE USELESS BASTARD DESIGNERS. IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT THE QUALITY OF THE DESIGN STAFF IMPROVED DRAMATICALLY AFTER WE ALL GRADUATED FROM THE SLAB ROOM TO THE STUDIO, WHILE SADLY, THE QUALITY OF PAINT AND WORK IN THE SLAB ROOM DECLINED. IN MANY WORK PLACES IT IS OFTEN SAID, 'YOU COULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT THIS PLACE'. AT OUR PLACE SOMEONE DID. OR A PLAY TO BE MORE PRECISE. IT WAS TITLED, 'THE SLAB BOYS', WRITTEN BY JOHN BYRNE, A YOUNG COLLEAGUE OF INCOMPARABLE CREATIVE TALENT. THE FOLLOWING POSTS ARE A WINDOW INTO THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE YOUNG CARPETBRAGGERS.
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